Never Let You Go #30
Justin’s POV
“You have completely lost your mind!” I jumped off the bed, nearly losing my towel. “Granted, you were a little insane when I met you, but I thought it was cute. Now, you’re just a downright crazy lady!” I couldn’t believe she had actually just suggested I get a vasectomy.
“Okay, I know it seems a little crazy, but come on. You just said you didn’t want any more kids. So why not? Don’t you remember how great sex can be without condoms?” She definitely had a point there. But that wasn’t enough to make me want a vasectomy. “We wouldn’t have to buy condoms anymore. I could go off the pill. Just think of how much money we’ll save!”
“You and I both know this is not about the money.” I sat down on the couch on the other side of our room with my arms crossed, just waiting to see what would come out of her mouth next.
“You’re right.” She got out of bed and sat down on my lap. “But wouldn’t life just be so much easier if we never had to worry about this again? No more pregnancy scares. No more late night condom runs.” She ran her hands through my hair and I knew what she was trying to do. But I was not in the mood anymore.
“Just consider it.” She kissed my cheek and went back to bed. I just sat and thought about it. She did make some really good points. Better sex. No more condoms. I could definitely foresee a better sex life in my future if I did this.
Madelyn’s POV
I knew Justin thought I was crazy. I thought I was a little crazy. But I also knew that he would come around to the idea within a couple weeks. He was a guy. And if a vasectomy meant having more sex, and better sex, he would definitely be in. I decided to give him a few days to think it over, but I had already scheduled the procedure for him. I made the appointment for Tuesday, so that by the time my birthday rolled around, he would be all healed and ready.
Lucky for me, on Thursday Paige called with exciting news.
“I want to go to New York City. Tomorrow. I need to tell Mom and Dad.”
“Really?” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard.
“Yeah. I want you to go with me. I’m going to need some support from my big sister.”
“Of course. I’ll go with you. We can take the jet so we can get there faster. I’ll text you with details.”
“Okay. Thank you, Maddie.”
Justin’s POV
“She wants you to what?!” Scooter yelled when I told him about Madelyn’s request.
“I know. That was my feeling at first.”
“Are you going to do it?” Alfredo asked.
“I don’t know yet.” I said honestly.
“Well if you aren’t going to have any more kids, why not?” Fredo asked again.
“Madelyn has you so whipped.” Scooter just laughed. “We know who runs your relationship, kid.”
“Shut up.” I said, trying to ignore his comment.
Madelyn’s POV
Why can’t we go?” Aniston pouted as I got ready to leave for New York.
“Trust me, it’s not going to be a fun trip. We are going to sit and talk to your grandparents for hours on end.”
“That sounds so boring.”
“Oh, it will be. You are going to have so much more fun here with Daddy.” I gave them each a hug and a kiss before turning my attention to Justin.
“Please, be sure to watch Stella’s blood sugar. Check it before every meal and when she wakes up and goes to bed. Don’t forget.”
“Mads, I know. We will be fine.” Justin reassured me again. “Go have a fun weekend in the city.” He leaned in and gave me a light kiss. “Don’t get too crazy without me.”
“Please, I’ll be with Paige the whole time. A glass of wine is about as crazy as that girl gets.” I joked.
“Love you.” We said simultaneously as we leaned in for one last kiss. We both laughed. Every time it happened, it made me feel like an old married couple, but it was happening a lot these days.
Justin’s POV
“What are we going to do this weekend?” Stella asked as soon as Madelyn had left. I had no idea. Madelyn had only planned this trip yesterday. I didn’t know what we were going to do for the whole weekend.
“I’m not sure.” I said honestly. “But I’m going to think of something super fun!”
It’s so nice to hear that from someone who is in the field. I haven’t decided which I’m going to do yet. I really like the journalism department better at Kstate, which is where I’m going. My ideal job (at least at the moment) would be an editor, so I think that track could get me to where I want to be. I think I want a career first, and then I’ll work on writing on the side.
To everyone who wanted Madelyn to be pregnant…
First off, don’t hate me. Please. Realize that I made her not pregnant so I could keep working on improving my writing. If I had added yet another kid to the story, I might’ve lost my mind. I’m already overwhelmed just trying to write about all of them! So just trust me on this one. The story is going to be a lot stronger without adding another Bieber baby.
Any feedback is always welcome! :)
Never Let You Go #29
“I can’t do it. You look.” I threw the test at Paige.
“Ew! You peed on that!” She shrieked and dropped the test, letting it fall to the ground. She bent down, examining it closely. “It’s negative.” She smiled.
I was so relieved. “Praise the lord. God knows I couldn’t have handled another baby.”
I picked up the test and the box and threw it into the trash, relieved to be done with it.
“Why are you so late then?”
“I don’t know. Must be stress.”
“You don’t think you’re going through menopause, do you? I mean, you are getting old.”
“Shut up!” I gave her a loving shove into the wall as I made my way into the bedroom and laid down on the bed. She did the same.
“Change of subject. Have you told Mom and Dad yet?”
“Nope. I don’t know why you want me to. They are just going to be upset. They aren’t going to come to the wedding. I don’t know why I would invite them. Why don’t you tell them since you’re all best friends again?”
“Oh stop. I think that once they get over the initial shock, they will come around.”
“They have had six years to come around.”
“Listen. I understand if you don’t want to tell them, but if you change your mind, I’ll go with you. We can fly into the city for the weekend and tell them in person.”
“I’ll consider it.”
Justin’s POV
“Mommy! Look at my jersey!” Aria ran straight to Madelyn to show her what I had gotten for her.
“Well, aren’t you quite the sight.” She laughed.
“Daddy wouldn’t buy me or Aniston anything!” Stella pouted. Madelyn looked at me confused.
“They don’t like hockey!” I said defensively.
“And this one does?” She laughed and pointed to Aria.
“I love hockey! Daddy and I watched the entire game!” She defended herself.
“She’s right. She proved herself to be an avid hockey fanatic today.” I laughed.
“Interesting.” Madelyn eyed us, trying to see if we were just trying to pull one over on her.
Madelyn’s POV
“I don’t want to go to bed!” Aria sat herself on the couch and pouted. Everyone else had already gone to bed, and it was entirely past her bedtime.
“Aria Grace Bieber. I’m so sick of your whining. Go to bed. Now.” I was still really edgy. I figured it was just PMS since I knew I wasn’t pregnant.
“Come on. I’ll read you a story before you go to sleep.” Justin picked her up and carried her upstairs. Trying to discipline any of the kids was hard for him. But as long as Aria went to bed, I didn’t really care how she got there.
I peeled myself off of the couch. Despite sleeping in this morning, I was still exhausted. I managed to take a shower, get dressed for bed and get in bed in the time it took Justin to read to Aria.
“She picked the longest book ever.” He laughed as he walked into the bedroom and into the bathroom.
Justin’s POV
I had just gotten out of the shower, with only a towel wrapped around my waist, when I was getting ready to brush my teeth. I managed to squeeze the very last bit of toothpaste out of the bottle, so I threw it away. Right as it went into the trashcan, I saw something that caught my eye.
I bent down and reached for it. An open box to a pregnancy test was just sitting in the trashcan. I pulled it out and looked at it. Surely she would’ve told me if she thought she was pregnant.
“Mads, do you have something you need to tell me?” I walked into the bedroom holding the box.
“What are you talking about?” She looked up from her book and saw what I was holding. “Oh.” She sighed.
“Oh? Madelyn. Don’t you think I should get more of an explanation than, oh?”
“I was late and emotional. I thought I might be pregnant. I had Paige bring it over. But it was a false alarm.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I sat down on the bed next to her.
“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I know how badly you want another baby.” She said softly, looking like she was ready to cry.
“Mads, I know I’ve made it apparent how much I want another baby, but sometimes I forget to make it just as obvious that I want you more. I almost lost you the last time, and if having another baby would mean I lose you again, I don’t want to even chance it. We have four beautiful kids. That’s enough for me.”
It was the first time I had said it out loud, but it felt good. I could see the relief instantly in Madelyn’s eyes. Even though we hadn’t talked about it in a while, I knew she always felt a little guilty about not having another baby. For a long time after Aria was born, I resented that she didn’t want to have one more. But, now I had come to terms with it. We had four kids. We were only going to have four kids.
“Are you sure?” She looked at me with disbelief, but I could see the relief in her eyes.
“Yes.” I smiled and leaned in to kiss her. She already looked happier. She ran her hands along my bare chest as I lowered myself onto her. I was getting ready to undo my towel as she pulled back.
“Can we chat for a second?” She smiled. I sat up on my elbows, so I wasn’t putting all of my weight on her.
“What?” I asked.
“Okay, so you know how our birthdays are coming up?” I could tell this conversation was going to last longer than a few seconds. I rolled off and looked at her.
“Yes.”
“Well, I thought of the perfect present for both of us.”
“Oh really?” I laughed. I couldn’t wait to see where this was going.
“A vasectomy.”
Never Let You Go #28
Madelyn’s POV
“Madelyn?!” Paige busted through the front door.
“You don’t have to yell, I’m right here.” I walked out of the kitchen.
“What the heck? I thought you didn’t want any more kids? I thought you and Justin were being safe and preventing this. Don’t you remember what happened the last time?” She was talking a thousand words a minute.
“Paige! Stop!” I said a little too loudly as I sat down on the couch. “We have been nothing but safe for the last five years. I don’t know how this could’ve happened. I’m on the pill! We use condoms!”
“Condoms break. The pill fails.”
“Thanks, I’m aware.” I sighed.
“Maddie, I’m sorry. But what are you going to do?”
“I haven’t figured that out yet.”
Justin’s POV
“I hate hockey.” Stella said for what seemed like the five millionth time.
“Do you want to play a game on my phone?” I handed her my iPhone and she happily sat down, obviously satisfied.
Even though Aniston and Stella were hating this, Aria and Kingston were both really into the game. I wasn’t surprised by Kingston. He was all boy; any kind of sporting event was fun for him. But Aria hadn’t ever shown any interest in sports. Maybe it was because we just hadn’t ever taken her to any kind of sporting games, since she didn’t seem interested. But she was just as into it as Kingston.
“Why did they do that?” She asked every single time something happened she didn’t understand. Trying to explain hockey to a five-year-old was a little challenging, but she seemed to understand everything I explained to her.
The whole time I couldn’t help but smile. Aria had completely shown me a different side of herself today. Who would have thought that the little girl who ran around in tutus and couldn’t stop talking about princesses would actually enjoy hockey? Definitely not me.
Madelyn’s POV
“Well, do you think you should take it?” Paige asked. We were both laying on the couch, just staring at the box sitting in front of us.
“Nope.” I said honestly. “I want to wait a little bit longer.”
“You know that’s not going to change the results, right?”
“Yes, Paige.” I sighed.
I stared at the little box that had the potential to turn my world upside down. I didn’t want to know yet. I wanted to savor my last moments as a happy mom of four. I couldn’t even think about what it would mean if the test came back positive. Five kids? I couldn’t have five kids.
Sure, at one point Justin and I had wanted five. But that was before we had one. We were naïve. We didn’t know what having kids was like. I had my hands full with my four. Thinking about adding another one into the mix made my head spin. So I chose not to think about it.
“Want to watch a movie? That new Ryan Gosling movie is on Netflix.” I suggested.
“How can you seriously even consider watching a movie right now? Your future is up in the air and you want to sit here and fantasize about Ryan Gosling?”
“Just let me have two more hours of fun before I find out.”
“Madelyn.” Paige looked at me seriously. “You’re kidding, right? In two hours Justin is going to be back here with the kids. Take it now so you have some time to deal with the news.”
“I don’t want to know.” I whined. But she did have a point. I wanted to know before Justin. If it was just a fluke and I wasn’t actually pregnant, I didn’t want to get him all excited for nothing. I had to keep reminding myself. He wanted another baby. He still wanted five.
Justin’s POV
“Daddy! I need a jersey!” Aria pointed to a Kings jersey as we were leaving the arena.
“Well, since you proved yourself to be a hockey fanatic, why not?” I handed some money to the lady at the cash register and got her a small, black jersey.
“I want one!” Stella and Aniston said simultaneously as they realized Aria was getting something.
“You hate hockey. You told me five hundred times today. You don’t really want jerseys.”
Aria grabbed her jersey from me as soon as I received it from the lady. Wasting no time, she put it on over her shirt. With her hot pink leggings and her new hockey jersey, she was quite the sight.
“How do I look Ken?” She turned to Kenny and turned around, modeling it for him.
“Looking good, girl!” He laughed. “Now lets get out of here before the game gets out.”
Madelyn’s POV
“You can’t put this off any longer. Come on.” Paige grabbed my hand and pulled me off of the couch. I grabbed the pregnancy test and followed her upstairs to my bathroom.
“I never ever thought I would be doing this again.” I said, taking the test out of the wrapping. I popped the little cap off of the end.
“Maybe God just really wants you to have five kids. It’s like fate.” Paige wasn’t doing so hot at making me feel better about the whole situation.
“No.” I popped the cap back on the used test and sat it on the counter.
“Alright. In three minutes we’ll know.”
“Paige, promise me when you and Noah want to have a family, you plan better than us.” I said, half laughing. “Don’t let yourself get into these situations.”
“I’ll try.” She smirked at me. “And promise me, if this test comes back positive, you aren’t going to flip your shit like you did the last time.”
“I’ll try.” I mocked her, laughing.
“It’s time.” She said, checking her watch.
“The moment of truth.” I took a deep breath as I prepared myself for the worst.
Never Let You Go #27
Madelyn’s POV
Just the thought of sending Stella to school the next day, I was a wreck. I knew she was in good hands. The school nurse had all of her supplies. Her teacher had lots of apple juice for her if she got low. And, Paige was in the building if something did happen. I was still scared to death though.
Justin and I both decided it was better for me to go to the studio and he could take them to school. He was currently better at controlling his emotions. I normally could hide anything, but in the last few days, I couldn’t stop crying.
“Maddie.” Selena gave me a hug as soon as she saw me. “I’m so sorry. How is she?”
“She screams when I try to check her blood sugar. She screams when I touch her pump.” I fought the tears that were starting to form.
“It’ll get better as she gets used to it.”
“We can only hope.”
“Ladies, you’re on in five.” Dan gave us our last warning and we hurried out to the set where our live studio audience was waiting.
It was during the first commercial break I started to feel nauseous.
“I’ll be right back.” I ran into the bathroom, making it just in time. As soon as I had gotten sick, I felt a lot better. I ran back to the set with thirty-seconds left in the break.
Justin’s POV
“Are you sure it’s okay for her to go to dance tonight?” I asked Madelyn again. I was worried about Stella. Not only because of her diabetes, but her concussion.
“The doctor said she could. If we want her to adjust to this, we need to make her life as normal as possible. That means she’s going to dance tonight.”
“Okay.” I gave in.
“I’ll see you later.” She gave me a quick kiss and was gone, leaving me with Aria and Kingston.
“So what are we going to do tonight, Dad?” Aria climbed onto my lap.
“It’s Thursday! Wii baseball!” Kingston yelled as he ran to get the controller for the game. Since Madelyn and the big girls spent most of their nights at the dance studio, we had created a weekly game schedule. Each day we played a different game, whether it be basketball outside, something on the Wii or a classic board game. “I’m going to beat both of you.”
“Bring it!” Aria yelled.
Madelyn’s POV
Stella got through dance just fine. As the days turned into weeks, the tears came less and less. She was adjusting even better than I thought she would. Just a month after the diagnosis, she was right back to her normal self.
I wish I could’ve said the same about myself. I was still a walking tear duct. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I was convinced I was just still upset about Stella.
“Mads?” I heard Justin whisper early one Sunday morning. “Are you okay?” I couldn’t even open my eyes I felt so tired, but suddenly I could feel I wasn’t in my bed. I was laying on hard, cold tile. My eyes shot open as I came to. “Have you been here all night?”
“No.” I winced as I sat up. My back was a mess after sleeping on the hard floor. “I just got really nauseous, so I came in here. I must’ve fallen asleep.”
“Well how do you feel now?” Justin put his hand on my forehead, checking for a temperature I guessed.
“Sore.” I laughed as he helped me up from the floor.
“Why don’t you go back to bed? I’ll take the kids and we’ll get out of your hair for a while so you can really sleep.
“You’re the best.” I closed my eyes, falling asleep almost instantly as my head hit the pillow.
Justin’s POV
“Dad. I cannot believe you are making us sit through this.” Aniston glared at me.
“Really Daddy, this is awful.” Stella added her two cents.
“I think it’s great!” Kingston cheered. “I love hockey!”
“That’s my boy!” I laughed and gave him a high five. I had told Madelyn I would get the kids out of the house, but there really wasn’t anywhere to go. But, there just happened to be a Los Angeles Kings game going on, so I brought them.
“Can we leave yet?” Stella sat herself on my lap.
“Stel. The game just started. Here, go with Kenny and buy yourself something to eat.” I handed her a wad of dollar bills, hoping it would buy me some time. It did. The girls and Kenny happily left the suite we were in and didn’t come back until half time. I didn’t know what they did, but as long as they were happy and with Kenny, I didn’t really care.
Madelyn’s POV
Hey! Are you at home?
Maddie, I need to talk to you! Call me back!
I am coming over at noon whether I hear back from you or not.
I laughed as I read all of Paige’s texts when I woke up. It was already eleven-thirty. It was the latest I had slept in years. I quickly texted Paige back and told her to come over.
Right after I texted her back, I got up to go to the bathroom. It was then, I realized I knew what was wrong with me. Crying all the time. Random bouts of nausea. I had just noticed the final key to the puzzle, I was late. Really late.
I quickly grabbed my phone.
I need you to bring me a pregnancy test. Hurry.
I’m writing right now! Have any ideas as to what should happen in the next post?
